My mom is a wonderful, fun, and creative person, and over the years she has found a way to develop what seems like her own language. She has the ability to create weird or funny phrases on the drop of a dime and is able to make people laugh wherever she goes. I have decided to start cataloging all of her “momsims” for others to enjoy. This is a collection of words and phrases in alphabetical order. I will update it as new ones emerge.
Al caboom – A smoking mole killer. Their neighbor gave them Amdro Gopher Gasser for the terrible mole problem they were having in their yard. For some reason, mom calls it Al caboom.
Bicth – The humorous public misspelling of the word bitch. “That woman is a B-I-C-T-H.”
Bolderdash – Synonym for nonsense. Very similar to balderdash, but there is a heavy emphasis on the "bolder."
"Carry your bald eagle" – A phrase synonymous with hurry up. Example: Carry your bald eagle over here!
Cranola – Mispronunciation of the beer named Corona.
Coolie – Private parts. Often said in an angry tone directed at a dog. "Stop licking your coolie!"
"Don’t get a diaper rash" – Alternate of “don’t get your panties in a bunch” Example: Don’t get a diaper rash, we will be there in a minute.
"Don't rub it, or you'll get a surprise." - Do not touch or put pressure on a bodily surface wound and you will receive some surprise. We are still trying to figure out what that surprise is.
Duncan-Hines - An animal's hind quarters. Usually expressed in a raised tone toward a dog sniffing another dog's behind. Example: Quit smelling his/her duncan-hines!
Facebookery - The act of being on your phone for too long.
Fingering - The act of touching an inanimate object more than once. Ex: "Quit fingering the broccoli!" or "You need to finger your Christmas cactus to get the dust off of the leaves."
Flubadub - An overweight person.
Fodeo Doe - Intercourse.
"Give (him/her) a blessed noodle!" - Often expressed as "give them a second."This is mom's phrase used to express the need to be patient with someone.
Idiot's Delight - When someone is being particularly silly.
Kamikaze Fly - The fly that landed in mom's dinner, which is now the sole reason she will not eat hamburger helper. The fly, in an attempt to fly over the plate, met the vapors above the dinner and immediately fell to its death.
Loosey Goosey - A sexually promiscuous lady. Often said as an insult when speaking of an individual that may or may not a history of sexual promiscuity.
Paper thin – When two or more items have very tight tolerances or clearances. Example: If you are too close to the car next to yours when parking, you are paper thin.
Peter Cottontail – Synonym for male genitalia. Example: That flasher showed his peter cottontail.
Raw bar – Strip club.
Slip tees – The act of slipping on socks.
Sprinkular – Mispronunciation of sprinkler.
Ya ling ya ling – Mispronunciation of Yuengling.
New momisms will be added regularly!